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Subject:FetLife holiday giveaway
Time:10:59 am
Current Mood:flirtyflirty
FetLife is giving away lots of presents this season.
Go to http://fetlife.com/sit_on_santas_lap to get your own chance to win :)
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Subject:Things I should tell a top
Time:03:02 pm
Current Mood:bouncybouncy
I had my first real experience with scene play, and negotiating, and I realize I left out a lot I should have said.

potentially explicit detailsCollapse )

I'm not going to talk about what happened, or with who or where, but it was amazing :)
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Subject:The New Bottoming Book
Time:11:26 am
Current Mood:impressedimpressed
I keep thinking there's so much good advice in here that people need to read.

Sometimes I think about writing a 'good parts' versiion, and then I think about what I would want to include, and realize it would basicly be the whole book.
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Subject:Chapter 7 now
Time:06:52 pm
Current Mood:contemplativecontemplative
No new excercises, but some interesting thoughts that I'm still digesting.

cut more out of habit than necessityCollapse )
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Subject:Next excercise ;)
Time:08:19 pm
Current Mood:hopefulhopeful
The idea is to write down everything that could happen in a scene, then label each as yes, no, or maybe. Then mark which ones I feel I need, and which ones I want.

What activities do I wantCollapse )

And a random insight from talking with my mate:
I seem to experience a set amount of fear and embarrassment in a given week, regardless of what is happening in my life. I'd rather feel these in a scene than in reliving bad memories or worrying about things I can't change.
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Subject:Next chapter
Time:09:20 pm
Current Mood:contemplativecontemplative
Every chapter of this book is going to make me post something, isn't it?
The next exercise:

Emotions and roles in BDSMCollapse )
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Subject:Being a Bottom
Time:09:53 am
Current Mood:contemplativecontemplative
I started reading the New Bottoming Book. I've only gotten through the first section, just describing what the book is about, and already I have lots of new insights.

Cut for length and adult topicsCollapse )
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Subject:kink test thingy
Time:10:52 am
Current Mood:amusedamused


Your result for The Kink Spectrum Analysis Test...

Ultraviolet (350 nm)

You scored 85% self-confidence and 76% bandwidth!



Holy spectrum! You have a lot of different kinks, and you definitely like to play on both sides of the fence. This versatility may make it hard to find a partner that doesn't bore you, however. For maximum pleasure, look for a partner who is Ultraviolet as well, or maybe Blue. Greens and Reds are probably too vanilla for you.


But I promised you a more detailed analysis, so here it is. Note that most scales are twofold: There are separate values for giving (active) and receiving (passive). If you scored high on one of them, you should look for a partner who scored high on the other. If you scored high on both of them, go for someone who is similar (or for multiple partners if you're into that). If you scored low on both, this probably is not your kind of kink.


You scored 100% giving and 62% receiving on oral.


You scored 89% giving and 90% receiving on anal.


You scored 15% giving and 93% receiving on bondage.


You scored 59% giving and 71% receiving on humiliation.


You scored 33% giving and 70% receiving on pain.


You scored 30% dominance and 53% submission.


You scored 58% voyeurism and 76% exhibitionism.


Besides that, you're 63% into fetishism and 92% polysexual (i.e. interested in sex with multiple partners, whether at the same time or not). You'll probably want a partner who is similar, whether you scored high or low in these categories.


Finally, you scored 59% on autoerotic - a scale that measures your ability and/or willingness to have kinky fun without a partner. It's not exactly a matching criterion, but it's good for you if your score is high. Keep it up!


Take The Kink Spectrum Analysis Test
at HelloQuizzy

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Subject:I figured something out.
Time:11:54 pm
Current Mood:hopefulhopeful
With much help and conversation with my mate, I stripped down all my problems and emotions, trying to find out what I really need in a scene.

I'm basicly trying to buy love and acceptance. That's why I feel so good when I make someone cum, but I don't feel that way when I cum myself. I feel like I earned it, when I make someone happy. That's why I was so upset about not being used at the party. I was hoping that I would get the chance to get a little love from lots of people, and didn't get enough. This is why I spent so much money on a fursuit, because inside the fursuit people will accept me and love me. That's why I buy or make or draw most things I do, hoping the recipient will be happy and I will get to feel loved. That's why I create, why I yiff, why I do most things. That's why I sometimes feel I've never had enough sex to satisfy me: I've never felt like I've been loved enough.

I feel I have to earn any love I get. And all too often, my attempts fail, or get halfhearted thanks.

So. Core problem identified.
Now I just have to figure out what to do with this.
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Subject:Cross-posted whines from someone who should feel happy he even got to go.
Time:01:22 pm
Current Mood:frustratedfrustrated
Cut for adult topics and languageCollapse )
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