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Subject:Next excercise ;)
Time:08:19 pm
Current Mood:hopefulhopeful
The idea is to write down everything that could happen in a scene, then label each as yes, no, or maybe. Then mark which ones I feel I need, and which ones I want.

YES - Need

  • being praised
    YES - Want

  • being held and rocked
  • being lead on a leash in public
  • being peed inside, anally
  • being punished for something real
  • being treated like a little boy
  • being used for sex while asleep, or woken up for it
  • being whipped
  • bondage, just about any form
  • castration play
  • cock/crotch/anus torture
  • following orders
  • groped fondled in public, secretly
  • kissing
  • pet and praised like an animal
  • sensation play, odd and pleasant sensations, identification
  • taught to perform a trick like an animal
  • training, triggered behaviors
  • verbal embarrassment, having embarrassing things pointed out and reinforced
  • wearing a collar as a trigger to be submissive
  • wearing a collar or nametag in public
  • wearing chastity device for days
  • wearing mitts as a trigger to be a puppy/pony

  • anal toys, if they fit without much pain
  • anal, giving
  • anal, receiving
  • being called a slave, with possible exceptions, sometimes this is a trigger word for me
  • being clawed/bitten, lightly
  • being lead on leash in private
  • being peed on
  • being spanked
  • calling top by title in public
  • come down time (possible aftercare)
  • leash tied to place where a chore is to be done
  • oral, giving
  • oral, receiving
  • orgasm denial, edging, eventual release
  • overstimulation after orgasm
  • peeing inside someone, anally or orally
  • performing menial labor
  • receiving an enema
  • rimming, giving
  • rimming, receiving
  • tickling
  • wax dripped on me
  • wearing panties/naughty clothing
  • wearing vibrator/plug in public
    MAYBE - Want

  • auctioned or lent to another dom/top
  • brand, lasting, I'd be very choosy about who did this.
  • branding play, that didn't leave a lasting mark
  • electro play, interested in experimentation, but it must be safe
  • fed like a child
  • fed like an animal
  • gangbang
  • groped/fondled in public, openly
  • having diaper changed
  • height fears
  • knife play, fear of the blade
  • leash tied in company, having animal status in a social setting
  • rape fantasy
  • temporary marks or bruises

  • being clawed/bitten, hard
  • being peed inside, orally, not swallowing
  • being punished for involuntary or made up acts
  • breath control, gas mask or other restriction, but not suffocation
  • canes & other heavy hitting things
  • clothing chosen for me
  • fire play, loss of hair ok, burns not
  • forced to pee self
  • gags of various sorts
  • given a sleeping spot
  • ice play, very easy to be a no
  • leash tied and left alone for short time
  • ordered to not cum for days
  • outdoor sex
  • performing skilled labor, likely to send me into top space instead of bottom space
  • playing puppy games, tug, fetch, etc.
  • put in harness
  • sensation play, unpleasant sensations
  • sensory deprivation
  • sensual use of abrasive materials
  • serving as furniture
  • testicle torture
  • training, behavior modification
  • wearing diapers

  • activity restrictions (confined to house)
  • anal toys that are too big or otherwise hurt
  • any threat to eyes
  • bound into a position that causes lasting pain
  • breaking skin in any way
  • elastrator band
  • force feeding for weight gain
  • forced to not clean up pee (cold and smell are bad)
  • gunplay
  • leash tied and left alone for long time
  • loud noises
  • needles
  • nipple torture
  • pain caused by abrasive materials
  • religious scenes
  • scat, any form
  • sensation play, gross
  • serving as ashtray
  • use of intoxicants by me
  • using diaper in public
  • verbal humiliation, as in being insulted

    My analysis of all this:
    Babyfur? Since when did I want that? Well... I suppose it's not a surprise, really. Huh.
    The type of sex doesn't seem to matter.
    And apparently I really like being owned. Didn't that used to be a negative trigger for me?
    I seem to want more pain than just light stuff, but not really heavy pain. I've not known many people who can go just a little over light pain.

    And a random insight from talking with my mate:
    I seem to experience a set amount of fear and embarrassment in a given week, regardless of what is happening in my life. I'd rather feel these in a scene than in reliving bad memories or worrying about things I can't change.
  • comments: Leave a comment Previous Entry Share Next Entry

    Subject:Masochism Specific
    Time:2009-05-13 01:33 am (UTC)
    Before I can accurately define what types of pain I want, I have to be in a masochistic mood, which I happen to be in now.

    What do I want out of being hurt? Hmm...
    Being punished for something RL: Pain built to to the maximum I can stand and kept there for a while. No sexual release needed. After, I might want to, might not.
    Pushing sensual pain limits: Sexual stimulation and pain built side by side, ideally to the point where sensual pains are as stimulating as sensual pleasure. Example: The time when I came from having my cock flogged. I came from the painful stimulus, which was amazing.
    Sensual addittion: Pain used to prevent or enhance orgasm, or to enhance pleasurable sensations.

    Yes - Want
    flogging: bottom/back/feet/thighs
    claws drawn across cock and/or balls
    candle wax drippings
    cock bitten
    being shaved
    balls tied painfully
    cock slapping/spanking/thudding
    balls pushed internal (then sack is valid to abuse)

    muscles bitten
    ears bitten
    branding (special case only)
    balls pulled

    Maybe - Want
    flogging: belly/crotch
    thin/sharp whip: back/bottom
    spanking balls light to medium
    claws digging into cock and balls
    claws drawn along skin
    balls bitten
    forceful/rough anal
    fiisting/anal stretching
    ball stretching
    awkward bondage
    long term vibration
    leaving marks/bruises, visible or not
    brandnig play
    mint/icy hot/etc. on skin
    knife drawn across skin

    pinching nipples
    claws digging into skin
    hair pulling
    ice (I'm very cold sensative)
    urethral sounds
    air restriction
    face slapping
    intense tastes: hot pepper/bitter chocolate/lemon/etc.

    racking balls
    drawing blood
    dry anal
    tongue pulled
    knee stress
    loud sounds
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