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Subject:Chapter 7 now
Time:06:52 pm
Current Mood:contemplativecontemplative
No new excercises, but some interesting thoughts that I'm still digesting.


The more I read this book, the more I come to realize that most vanilla sex is... porly negotiated. There's all sorts of stereotypical problems with relationships that basicly come down to one or the other not knowing their needs and desired, or not communicating them. I could give examples, but I don't feel like lecturing. Just bibbling.

I think I've come up with three different focuses I want in a scene.

Raw sensation: Slow buildup until I'm taking near my limit of pain or pleasure, ending in an orgasm. Pretty standard one, I think.

Care and love: Feelings of acceptance, being cuddled and talked to, praised. Can start with me being bad or good, ends with me feeling better about myself. I also think this is pretty standard.

Simplification: Entering a headspace where I am small, young, animal, or similar, where I am feeling more than thinking and putting all of my trust into the top. This one I don't hear specificly requested as much, but it seems to be an unspoken desire of many scenes.

None of these are exclusive, but each has their own needs and desires attached to them. Praise is the only need all three share. And I note that only one of them actually requires anything akin to sex.

Basicly, if one type is promised in a scene, then it's reward becomes a need.

So, where does submission fall into this? Trusting the dom, and feeling good about doing things correctly for him/her. Ageplay? Very similar.

What about bondage? That's actually a mix of all three, I think. But it lends itself mostly to sensation play.

I'm beginning to suspect that these are things everyone wants, and the trick is in finding out which triggers work for you, and where your limits are.

My limits are... variable. I must need to explore them more, or find better definitions for them.
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