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Subject:Things I should tell a top
Time:03:02 pm
Current Mood:bouncybouncy
I had my first real experience with scene play, and negotiating, and I realize I left out a lot I should have said.


1. Some *specific* things I want. As you can see from previous posts, I want a lot of things, and am open to a lot of things. I need to give my top tools and pieces he can use, rather than just say I'm flexible. The more specific tools I give, the better the scene can be.

2. Helth concerns: If someone's going to bind me, they need to know I have bad knees. They're not terribly bad, bu they are something to watch for.

3. Celexa. I'm taking an anti-depressant. It has a side effect of occassionally giving me dry orgasms. Which I think is great :) Dry orgasms is one of the things I miss most about being a kid. But it can be embarassing and frustrating if the top is expecting to see me cu.

4. I'm not very talkative. I thought I go nonverbal, but my top told me I was saying "yes, daddy" alot. Hehe :)

5. Safewords. I use the traffic light system usually. Yellow is for when I need to pause and something needs to be talked about. Red is if I need to end the scene. I don't use either often. Is green ever used? What would it mean if I called out "Green!" in a scene?


And, one realization I have for myself:
What is said in a scene is for the scene. If the little boy in me wants to say, "I love you, daddy!" that doesn't mean anything outside of the scene. I don't have to worry about the guy playing my daddy growing worried that I'm falling in love with him IRL.


I'm not going to talk about what happened, or with who or where, but it was amazing :)
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kuperfox
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Time:2009-10-12 04:31 am (UTC)
*waves*

Surprisingly, I'd never heard of the 'traffic light' system, but it makes a lot of sense o.O

Maybe 'green' could mean do more? ^_^
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yiffpuppy
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Time:2009-10-12 10:46 pm (UTC)
Hi \\|//
You're not going to be at FC are you? Wrong coast.

If that's what 'green' meant, I doubt I'd ever use it. I'd be too much into enjoying what's being done, and be fairly nonverbal.
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kuperfox
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Time:2009-10-13 01:39 am (UTC)
yeah, wrong coast (I don't travel that much atm)

Furfright in CT is the next one I'm going to, may or may not get to MFF in Chicago, depending on a lot of things.
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whereunicornsgo
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Time:2009-12-09 01:37 am (UTC)
As a top, I find it EXTREMELY helpful when my bottoms give me an idea of what they want/like/are in the mood for.

"Green": all is well, keep going, I like that, or even more or harder, depending on what you and your top decide it means to you and is some times easier to have a bottom say that every once in a while, then the top constantly inquiring to you about how you're doing.

I'm stoked to see another BDSMer going to FC! :D
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